YOUTH GROUP LESSON ON PUTTING OTHERS FIRST

youth sermon bible study putting others first

Here’s a free youth group lesson on putting others first, based on Philippians 2:3-4. The big idea – Focus less on yourself, and more on others.

You know how it goes – students love to put themselves first. In fact, everyone is racing to be first—first in line, first to post on social media, first to get the last slice of pizza. This lesson flips the script and teaches that God’s design is to focus less on ourselves, and more on others. After all, that is the heart of Jesus’ life and teachings.

The format is a bit different than what we normally publish, and is as follows:

Small group activity & discussion questions
Message
Optional game related to the topic

We recently did the small group activity and discussion questions in our youth group, and it went really well. It was eye-opening for students and got them thinking and talking.

Hope you find the lesson helpful!

Nick Diliberto

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YOUTH GROUP LESSON ON PUTTING OTHERS FIRST

Big Idea – Focus less on yourself, and more on others.

Bible: Philippians 2:3-4

As previously mentioned, the format of this lesson is a bit different than normal. We recommend breaking up into small groups first, before the message.

SMALL GROUP

Youth Leader:

In your small group, talk about a time when you focused on yourself, rather than others. Be sure to pick an example where there was some kind of consequence and explain why it backfired.

Then, say:

Most people are thinking about themselves most of the time.
Jesus teaches us to do the opposite.

Have a student read Philippians 2:3-4:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Ask the group:

In your own words, what is this telling us?
Why is it sometimes hard to focus on others, rather than yourself?

Activity:

Give everyone a pen and the activity sheet below.
Allow them 5 minutes or so to complete the activity.
Then, have them share their answers one question at a time.

Wrap Up:

This activity gives us a gauge of where we’re at when it comes to putting others frist.
And it sets us up for today’s message.

Have all the small groups come together for the message.

TEACH

I have some SHOCKING news. Brace yourselves… Ready? Here it is: The world does not revolve around you. (I know, I know. Deep breaths.)

In today’s world, we are constantly encouraged to put ourselves first. Social media, entertainment, and culture often tell us that success means making sure we get what we want, standing out, and focusing on our own needs and desires. However, as followers of Jesus, we are called to live differently.

Philippians 2:3-4 tells us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Understanding Philippians 2:3-4

Paul, the writer of Philippians, was writing to the early church in Philippi. He wanted to encourage them to be united in Christ and to reflect His love through their actions. The key message in Philippians 2:3-4 is humility. Paul instructs believers to reject selfish ambition and conceit and instead embrace a mindset that values others above themselves. This does not mean thinking less of oneself, but rather thinking of others more often.

Putting others first is not natural for most people. Humans are hard wired to put themselves first. But when we intentionally shift our focus away from ourselves and toward the needs of others, we begin to reflect the heart of Jesus.

The Example of Jesus

Jesus is the perfect example of humility and selflessness. Philippians 2:5-8 continues by saying, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

Jesus, the Son of God, had every right to demand honor, glory, and service. Yet, He chose to humble Himself, serve others, and ultimately give His life on the cross for the sake of humanity. His entire ministry was an example of putting others first. He healed the sick, fed the hungry, and spent time with those who were rejected by society. Even in His final moments before the crucifixion, He washed the feet of His disciples—an act of extreme humility.

If Jesus, the King of Kings, could humble Himself to serve others, then we, as His followers, should do the same.

Ways to Put Others First

Living out Philippians 2:3-4 is not just about words but actions. Here are some practical ways to apply this scripture in everyday life:

Serving Others – Look for opportunities to serve at home, school, church, or in your community. Helping a sibling with homework, assisting a classmate who is struggling, or volunteering at a food pantry are all ways to put others first.
Encouraging Others – Speak words of kindness and encouragement. Complimenting someone, writing a note of appreciation, or simply being a good listener can lift someone’s spirit.
Being Patient – Often, putting others first means waiting and showing patience. This could mean letting someone else take the first turn in a game, allowing a friend to talk before jumping in with your own story, or not getting frustrated when things don’t go your way.
Giving Generously – Share what you have, whether it’s your time, resources, or talents. Offering to help a friend who is struggling with a subject in school, sharing your lunch with someone who forgot theirs, or donating clothes and toys to those in need are all acts of generosity that reflect Christ’s love.
Forgiving Easily – Holding onto grudges puts our own feelings above others. True humility means being quick to forgive, even when we feel justified in our anger. Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, and He calls us to extend the same grace to others.
Praying for Others – A great way to put others first is by lifting them up in prayer. Praying for a friend who is struggling, a family member who is sick, or even someone who has hurt you is a powerful way to show selflessness.

When we put others first, we not only bless them, but we also experience blessings in return. Jesus said in Acts 20:35, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Serving others brings joy, fulfillment, and a deeper sense of purpose.

Additionally, when we live selflessly, we strengthen our relationships. Friendships grow when we consider others’ needs above our own. Families thrive when members serve and love each other. Communities become stronger when people look out for one another instead of only themselves.

Another blessing is that putting others first draws us closer to Christ. The more we live like Jesus, the more we experience His presence and His love working through us. It transforms our hearts and deepens our faith.

Wrap Up

Philippians 2:3-4 is a powerful call to live differently than everyone else. It teaches us that true greatness is found in humility, and real joy comes from serving others. Jesus set the ultimate example of selflessness, and as His followers, we are called to reflect that same love in our daily lives.

Living a life that puts others first is not always easy, but it is always worth it. When we shift our focus from ourselves to others, we build stronger relationships, experience deeper joy, and grow in our faith.

May we strive each day to walk in humility, serve with love, and put others first, just as Jesus did.

OPTIONAL GAME

Here is an optional game that can be used with this lesson. Feel free to use it at the beginning or end of the lesson.

Set Up the Course:
- Use cones, chairs, pool noodles, hula hoops, and other objects to create a fun obstacle course.
- Make it challenging but safe, including sections like crawling under a rope, hopping through hoops, or balancing on a beam.
The Backwards Twist:
- Instead of rushing through the course for themselves, each player must guide someone else through it.
- Players walking the course go backward, while the directing teammate walks forward.
- The guiding player cannot touch their partner—they must use only words to help them navigate.
Pair Up & Start:
- One player is blindfolded or just closes their eyes while their partner carefully guides them through the course.
- After reaching the end, they switch roles, and the first full team to finish wins!

Say: In this game, you had to focus on your partner getting through the course. You did your job when they succeeded. At least half of you had to first guide your partner before going through it yourself. This is how Jesus calls us to live, focusing less on ourselves and more on others.

(End Lesson)

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