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We’re getting ready to start a series where we talk with students about finding their Calling.

We believe that God created us with gifts and passions.

We believe that God created us uniquely and for a specific purpose.

We want to help our students discover theirs.

But when I sat down with student leaders to talk about the series, to swap ideas and to start making concrete plans, something unexpected happened.

Two of them just started to cry.

It was weird.

I wasn’t sure what was going on.

Maybe school drama was bubbling up? Something else?

I dug in and discovered it was neither of those things.

They were crying because the idea of “calling” literally terrified them.

I asked around the room, and although not everyone was shedding tears about it, each student admitted that the idea of their “calling” filled them with anxiety.

HOW SCHOOL AND CULTURE HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE PROBLEM

From the time a student is about 15-years-old, well-meaning adults begin asking them what they want to be when they grow up, and then encourage them to plan for their futures.

Every few years that age of decision creeps lower and lower and lower.

As an eighth-grader making out his Freshman schedule, my son had to choose one of seven career-preparedness programs, ultimately settling on the Engineering Path.

We talked at length about his decision, about how he was free to change his mind and do other things, and while he was listening to my words, he wasn’t hearing me.

This, to him, very much felt like the moment that he had decide what career and vocation he was going to do until he died.

See why students feel anxiety about the idea of their Calling?

As for the two students in my group, once we passed around the tissues and dried their tears, they opened up to admit that they were in the middle of difficult college decisions, terrified that selecting the wrong one would somehow doom them.

We could talk about our gifts and strengths and passions, we could talk about finding and pursuing Truth in Scripture, and above all, we could talk about praying and listening for God’s leading toward their Calling…

…but they were already doing those things, daily in fearful sobbing fits at their bedpost, in dozens of conversations with parents and pastors, teachers and guidance counselors.

They didn’t need to be told that.

They needed to be told something else.

They needed to be told that the idea that God calls us to one profession or vocation for a lifetime is not Biblical, that it’s not how it works.

They needed to hear my story, that for a few years I made websites for churches, convinced that was my forever calling.

Then, I played drums in a punk band, convinced that was my forever calling.

Then, I led worship in churches and at universities, convinced that was my forever calling.

Then, I became a youth pastor, and as much as I am now convinced that this is my forever calling, the truth is that God might have something else for me.

So, all that time, was I looking for my true calling?

No, I was living my true calling.

My calling is to obedience and service to God. I’m called to love God and serve others.

I can change jobs another dozen times in this life of mine without losing sight of that true calling.

And in fact, I know more people who jump from career to career than lifers who stick with one vocation from college through retirement.

My students needed to hear that God can and may call them into a hundred different places, positions, fields, and jobs; but that he will always call them to love God and to serve others.

Maybe you’ll go to nursing school and do it for a few years.

Then maybe you’ll go back to school and become a teacher.

Then maybe you’ll answer a call to ministry.

And if you have a posture of loving God and loving others, then you’ll be living your calling out that whole time.

Calling isn’t about finding the one job you’ll have until you retire or die.

Calling is about making sure that wherever you are and whatever you do, you’re loving God and serving others.

Now make sure your students know that.

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Liked this blog post? Then you’ll love…

HOW TO USE ‘TWITTER SCRIPTURE BOMBS’ TO HELP STUDENTS SHARE THEIR FAITH

Written by Aaron Helman

Aaron has been in youth ministry for over 15 years and is currently a youth pastor in South Bend, Indiana.

 

27 Replies to “WHY YOU SHOULDN’T TEACH YOUTH ABOUT FINDING THEIR “CALLING””

  1. chris codding
    • January 31, 2017

    Thank you for this, this will be great to include in our lesson Wednesday about having an anxious heart. I also make a point to applaud those who go into ministry after school but applaud just as much as those who take a path towards nursing, homemaking, mechanic or any other vocation. Both areas are desperately needing filled by Christ pursuing young people and far too often churches seem to place those who go into ministry as extra special all stars.

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Nick Diliberto
      • January 31, 2017

      Chris, so so so true!!! We all play a part for sure!!!

      Reply
  2. Evelyn Smith
    • January 31, 2017

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts in the article it is as much as encouraging to adults as it is the youth. It gives an excellent perspective on how to encourage our youth to trust in the Lord in all things.

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Becky Forkel
      • January 31, 2017

      It’s definitely encouraging to all of us! Thanks Evelyn!

      Reply
  3. Tracy
    • January 31, 2017

    While I agree that there is much pressure on youth in America, most of it has been created by our culture. I went on a mission trip to Guatemala, and IF kids have the luxury of going to school beyond 8th grade, they choose a career path before high school. High school is like their college. They choose to be a teacher, electrician, plumber, nurse, etc at age 12-13. Are adolescent brains in Guatemala developing differently than in America? Of course not. But many American kids are growing up in an age of entitlement, even those that live in the American definition of ‘poverty’. Too many kids are being fed this idea of college, when in reality, many kids just aren’t going to do well in a college setting. Not to mention how many college graduates we have with no jobs for them to go to. I really hope we start to make a movement towards encouraging kids in a TRADE rather than a lifelong career.

    Reply 2 Response
    1. Nick Diliberto
      • January 31, 2017

      Tracy, you do bring up some really good points. I agree, that young people in America do face this issue differently than others. Thanks for bringing that to light.

      Reply
    2. Margaret
      • January 31, 2017

      Thanks, Tracy. Cultural differences aside (and they are great!) they are all the more reason to foster in kids in Guatemala, Georgia or Grand Rapids, an intimate relationship with Christ so whatever they find themselves doing vocationally, it’s by HIs leading, HIs grace and to His glory.

      Reply
  4. Jonathan Waits
    • January 31, 2017

    You finally come to the right point at the end, but your title, while eye-catching, is a bit misleading. It is not that we shouldn’t teach our students about the biblical idea of calling, rather, we should teach it to them well. Culturally, young people today are being raised in an environment in which making firm commitments that last for many, many years is eschewed, sometime vigorously. No one wants to be “tied down.” A generation or two ago saw that as a good and noble thing. Today we want our options. You are right that God calls us to be faithful servants regardless of what our vocation happens to be. You are right that our vocation might change as God moves us where He needs us to serve at a given time. But, let’s not lose jettison the idea of calling altogether. There are some young people who do feel called to pursue a particular path and have no plans to leave it. We don’t want to discourage them even as we don’t want to scare the others. Or consider marriage. If a student feels called to marriage when the time is right, we want them to understand that they are being called to a lifetime covenant and to be ready for that. We need to help them make sense out of what Paul writes in Romans 11:29. Calling is an important idea in the Scriptures and particularly in the New Testament. Let’s be sure we are teaching it still, but teaching it well. Thanks for this good reminder.

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Nick Diliberto
      • January 31, 2017

      True. Good point. I think it all depends on where your students are at with all of this. Each youth group is different, and the point is to not add an additional amount of stress on students.

      Reply
  5. Todd
    • January 31, 2017

    I loved the freedom that this article gives people especially young people as I can certainly relate to the fears and trepidation I felt as a young person. If I could change one sentence it would be the one that says “then maybe you’ll answer the call to Ministry”. while I think he meant “the call to full-time vocational paid Ministry” his written statement can reaffirm the myth that being a nurse or a teacher is any less being a minister than a pastor or full-time Church worker. It certainly can be argued that teachers and nurses can reach and touch more unsaved people than those in full-time vocational Ministry.

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Becky Forkel
      • January 31, 2017

      Great point! Thank you!

      Reply
  6. Ethan Millies
    • January 31, 2017

    Very helpful and appreciated! I whole heartily agree with our calling to be “love [serve] God and serve [love] others no matter what we are doing.

    I have one question based on personal experience though:
    What about those who are jumping around from place to place, thing to thing, due to not having a sense of belonging, fitting in or doing what they were made to do…and desperately wanting that?

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Becky Forkel
      • January 31, 2017

      That’s a good question. I think we have all known that person and sometimes we are that person.

      It’s an awful feeling when you feel like you’re doing the wrong thing in life or not fulfilling the purposes that God has for you. But, Aaron really did pinpoint the solution in his blog – Calling is about making sure that wherever you are and whatever you do, you’re loving God and serving others.

      It might sound too easy, but you can feel joy in whatever you’re doing, when you have the right perspective.

      Reply 1 Response
      1. Rebecca Hendrix
        • July 8, 2019

        Whoo!!! I opened this to read this thinking I was about to witness a false prophet type article, and that I was going to leave the article in gloom over what the world is coming to. I love this perspective. I will be taking our group to camp in less that 2 weeks, where I will be leading the devotional/worship so I have been praying for God to put his words on my heart by the Holy Spirit. I started feeling him leading me towards this topic and spiritual gifts, which are over looked by parents and older members in the area I’m from, and children are not being trained up/discipled at home anymore in this generation and a few past ones. My eyes have been opened by the grace of God through the Holy Spirit concerning this. So, as I’m trying to get lessons together and research other brother and sisters approach given to them through the Spirit, I stumbled across this. Thank you for your obedience!

        Reply 1 Response
        1. Nick Diliberto
          • July 10, 2019

          Rebecca, I am so glad this was helpful! I hope all goes well at camp. Seems like you’re on the right track!

          Reply
  7. Sara Williams
    • January 31, 2017

    I loved your post…I do feel that it should have been titled “Why you shouldn’t teach your youth about finding their perfect career”…because In fact you did teach them about their “calling” and that is very biblical and very important. Youth DO need to understand the difference in vocation and our “calling as a people of God”.
    Thanks so much

    Reply
  8. Sara Jo Waldron
    • January 31, 2017

    One of my mentors describes it in a fabulous way. He describes it like a play ground. God has called each of us to play on the playground, but he’s not necessarily saying “YOU-YOU have to be on the monkey bars only, that’s your calling.” It might be that we like the monkey bars and that’s life-giving to us, but we might also feel led to go over to the swings for a while. It’s all within God’s WILL (another scary term), as long as we are honoring him with what we do (God’s obviously not calling us to any jobs that are immoral or sinful), and that we are building His Kingdom, loving Him, loving and serving others, WHEREVER we choose to play on the playground–I believe sometimes God really does give us a CHOICE between things. We are ALL called to live lives of “ministry”, but that doesn’t mean as a career choice (i.e. only in the church, etc.) Great Blog.

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Becky Forkel
      • January 31, 2017

      Thanks! We love that illustration!

      Reply
  9. Matt Tyler
    • January 31, 2017

    I have been teaching my youth for years about “calling.” But my approach has always been one of fulfilling our “calling” to love God and to worship and serve him forever. The rest has a way of falling into place if we are loyal to these. I know, I know, easier said than done…

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Becky Forkel
      • January 31, 2017

      It is totally easier said than done. Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  10. SK
    • January 31, 2017

    I agree with what you wrote, but have 2 thoughts to add–one of which you can do nothing about.
    A prominent commencement speaker advised the young graduates to NOT follow their dreams as they continued their education. He advised them to FOLLOW THEIR SKILL SETS–which are God-given, and would enable them to get jobs in places where they have the skills to succeed, and become productive adults in society. (My cousin has a college degree in French. She had to take a typing course before she could get a job in which her “dream” could be used.)
    The other issue is that educators are pressuring kids to make career and educational track decisions at too young an age. They should not “specialize” until they have had a taste or an introduction to a broad range of subjects–hence the former focus on “liberal arts” before choosing a “major” in college.

    Reply
  11. Kay Fort
    • January 31, 2017

    My very wise mother taught me that we are to do our very best in whatever is before us. Your calling is to shine in a dark world-whether you are “called” on Saturday to see a movie or “called” to listen to someone hurting on Sunday. Maybe you will be “called” to go to college and be a teacher but then “called” to be a stay at home mom when you have a baby. Maybe you will be “called” to work in a restaurant in July, and be “called” to be a secretary in August. The point is-we need to be teaching our children that life is a journey, not a destination. There are seasons in life and many different pathways to choose. Whatever you choice is, where ever your life leads….SHINE. It is not so important what you do, but how you do it. Thank you for your article.

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Becky Forkel
      • February 1, 2017

      Thank you Kay!

      Reply
  12. Bamshak Dagwer
    • February 2, 2017

    Thanks for the truthful reminder you just shared about finding your calling.
    We or i often talk about that. But your article actually opened my eyes towards the reality of God’s word. Loving and obeying God is our calling.

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Becky Forkel
      • February 5, 2017

      That’s awesome!

      Reply
  13. Mabel
    • February 13, 2017

    Wow! This has blessed me personally. As we go on our life’s journey, we take on several roles, the focus is not only on the call, but also on the process. Observing the greatest command, is taking a posture of loving God and loving others. That way, you are effectively living out your mandate and its an indication that you can be trusted with more talents. May the Lord help us to walk this talk.Amen!. ,

    Reply 1 Response
    1. Becky Forkel
      • February 13, 2017

      That’s some good stuff! Our words carry so much more power when they are backed up by our actions. Thanks for sharing!

      Reply

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